Why Be Nice, Show Etiquette

I recently played a show where the opening acts were so rude! They acted this way towards the sound man, venue, promoter and to me and the other act…the co-headliners of the show. They were so rude that it was noticeable to my friends and family who had come a long way to see the show. Before the door guy even let any fans inside the venue…the band sent someone to talk to me and asked if they could soundcheck before me, I had already been waiting for my soundcheck for over an hour at this point, the band said “It’ll only take 15 minutes.” I said “sure” and I waited. The band sound checked for over an hour. When they played…it was no better. They didn’t thank any of the openers before them, they didn’t acknowledge that there were two other acts after them, and they didn’t thank the sound man or the venue for letting them play. They didn’t even bring any fans out to the show. They took 20+ minutes to get on stage and 20+ minutes to get off stage which bored the waiting audience. They didn’t stay for any of the openers sets and they left mid-song during my first song, missing my set and the set of the performer after me.

Will I ever play with that opening act again? Probably not… It left a sour taste in my mouth about them.

So you want to be better than that? Good! You should be, that’s how you make connections, that’s how you succeed in this industry.

Proper Show Etiquette

Ryan Cassata Booking Your Own ToursHere you are! Congrats! You booked a big show! You’re opening for a more well known band in your hometown! You get to play a 30 minute set to a good crowd and maybe you make some of the door tab and get a free meal or drink. Let’s talk about proper show etiquette. Why be nice? It feels better to be a good person. And…the music industry is all about who you know. It’s about the connections that you make. If you want to make connections it’s way easier to make them if you have good show etiquette!


Months or weeks before the show starts, start promoting. Invite all your homies! Invite your family! Get them to buy tickets in advance if you can. People are more likely to show up if they buy a pre-sale ticket then a ticket at the door. You can sell pre-sale tickets for a price lower than the door to give people more of an incentive to get the ticket in advance! Make a promo video, a flyer, hang up a flyer at the venue and around town, pass them out, post them on social media. When you post show flyers tag the other bands and the venues socials as well. Maybe they will do the same and you guys can cross promote a little bit! Reach out to the local bands and to the headliner if possible. Make friends with them. That’s a good start in making a solid connection. You never know who’s going to blow up in the music scene so treat everyone equally and respect every musician, promoter, door person, sound man/woman, venue owner, bartender, reporter, etc.

Show Time

It’s the day of the big show! Greet everyone who is performing. By now you should know what they look like and sound like from checking out their social media, talking with them, and from listening to their music. Greet the people that are working in the venue as well. Introduce yourself, don’t assume that they know your name or your band name.

Soundcheck quickly. Thank the sound man/woman! Remember their name when they introduce you. Call them by name. Say “please.” Thank them at end of the show face to face and give them a CD or sticker to show you are grateful for their existence.

Don’t yank out your cable without getting the universal thumbs up sign from the sound person. You don’t want to make an awful noise by yanking it out and you don’t want to damage the PA system.

When you set up and breakdown do it quickly. People tend to leave if the changeovers are way too long. It’s 2018. Music fans don’t want to wait 30 minutes for you to plug in or get all your stuff off of the stage. Make a plan in advance if you have a lot of stuff to lug on and off stage. Hire a friend to be a roadie for the day!

Even if not many people show up, play your hardest. Maybe there’s an A&R person there, or a reporter, or radio DJ. Or even better…someone that will become a dedicated fan! And have fun! Even if you are having a terrible experience because the other opening band is talking so loudly during your set or they are coming in and out of the venue over and over again distracting everyone, try not to let it get on your nerves. Give the people that are watching a good show.

After The Show

You’re off stage. Now what do you do? Hang around your merch table or in the main area. Greet some people that you saw watching you play. Thank them for listening to you and give them a sticker or a flyer for your next show. When the next band gets on stage, stay for them too. Listen to them play. Stay for the headliners as well. If you have to leave? Try not to walk out in mid-set. Not possible? At least do not walk out mid-song. It’s distracting to people watching and it’s distracting to the performers on stage.

It’s all about being mindful. Think about how you want to be treated and treat others the same way. It’s hard to get on a good show, and it’s hard to get a crowd to come see you play when you’re just starting out. Be grateful you got there. Be grateful you get to play live even if it’s just to a handful of people. And if you had a bad experience…learn from it, and go out and try again next time!

All shows have their good moments and bad moments…here’s some of my shows that were fun all the way through…


Live in Brooklyn with my full band:


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2015 Van’s Warped Tour on the Ernie Ball Stage:


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Thanks for reading!